How I Overcame Negativity and Became a Better Person

By Bella Sofia - March 06, 2018


First of all, let me start off by introducing myself…. Hello! my names Sophia. I'm a single mother to a little boy who is soon to be seven. I've been single for a number of years now after divorcing my ex husband. My life let’s say hasn’t been a bed of roses, but when we look behind the amazing instagram picture, in reality- whose is? After spending many years unhappy, I found myself to be consumed by negativity and always found myself seeing worst in every situation. I had been let down by many people from a young age, and then during adulthood somehow managed to find myself in this repeat cycle. I was very unhappy and I so desperately wanted to smile a genuine smile again, not just forced smiles to my son. 

I honestly believe that the first step was admitting that the problem was with me, and not elsewhere. When you're feeling negative and angry at the world, it's so easy to pass off the blame. 'If only I'd had more supportive parents' 'the education system let me down' and 'people prey on my vulnerabilities' were all things I had convinced myself of. In order to be a happier and more positive person, I started to accept that I had to make a change within me. I didn't want to spend another day with the same awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I would get up for the school run exhausted as I hadn’t slept the night before, as I would lie there feeling bitter and sad about having never made it or the way people had treated me. I started to realise that I couldn't change the past or be accountable for anyone elses actions. But I could be accountable for my own.

I started to read motivational books, watched DVDs and listened to podcasts about positive thinking and living. I began to make a conscious effort to attract good vibes for me and my son. I started doing little tasks, one of which was writing a list of twenty things that I'm grateful for every morning and evening. I would read my lists out loud whilst holding a special crystal that my son helped me to pick out.  I got this idea from 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne who I found inspirational on this journey to happiness. When faced with a tough situation, instead of instantly focusing on the bad I'd challenge myself to see the silver lining, to find the lesson in the chaos. As the saying goes, there is no path to happiness- happiness is the path. Teach yourself to see the small blessings in things, and to look at your life objectively to see the good. Having a roof over your head, food in your cupboards and a healthy child are things that not everyone is lucky enough to have. When you sit and think about it, most of us have lots of things in our lives that we're truly blessed with and should feel gratitude towards. I still have days now where I find myself slipping back into old habits and ways of thinking, but I now have enough knowledge to be able to talk myself round again. Chatting things through with a friend and gaining a new perspective can be helpful, reading positive quotes and taking in lots of information that promote a more positive way of thinking. 

I urge you to start thinking more positively, read books and seek out materials from experts if you're not sure where to start. A simple change in your thoughts can change everything and turn your life around, don’t believe me? Give it a go!

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